Sunday, September 7, 2008

Vicious Circle

It's a beautiful Sunday morning and I sit here in quite a bit of pain knowing that I probably won't go anywhere to enjoy this pretty day. It's not any different than most days lately. I have RA (rheumatoid arthritis) and fibromyalgia and along with that comes depression and and now a low thyroid and a few other things that aren't necessary to mention. I've had all these things except the thyroid condition for 20+ years now, and they have gotten progressively worse. This last year has been particularly bad and I feel like I am just in a vicious circle of pain, medication, depression, more pain, more meds, more depression, on and on. I'm pretty sure the pain medication fights the anti depressant medication, but without the pain medication the pain is even MORE unbearable and the depression is even worse. It's just horrible to think about. When I feel up to it and get out of myself and make some jewelry it takes my mind off of the pain for a time. Sometimes it's too difficult because my knee is one of the joints affected at the moment and sitting at my work area hurts after a while. When I chat in the forums I also feel some relief, but my right hand has become extremely swollen from overuse on the computer. That was one of the reasons I had to go out on disability from my job, my hands wouldn't allow me to work at the computer for 6-7 hours a day anymore. I am writing this to let people know who I am and not for sympathy. Perhaps there are others of you out there who can relate and who go through similar or worse. Maybe we can help each other if by nothing else than just by knowing that someone else deals with this too. I would love to hear from you.

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